Well, this is it. I just had my final interview with President
Hawks, and I can't believe that this is my last email, but it is. I don't know
how to say what I want to say. I don't know how the prophets did it, spending
their lives trying to describe what God has done for them. It would just get
exhausting after a while! And no matter how many times you rephrase or rewrite
what you've written, it's never quite the truth. But you have to keep trying,
because you've just got to tell people about it.
We met with Brother J, our hobbit investigator, this week, and oh how I
love this man. He told us all about his childhood as we were reading together in
1 Nephi 3. The Book of Mormon has a way of opening people up and touching their
hearts. He said, "I was born in Hong Kong, but during the conflict with Japan we
moved to Mainland. During the Communist revolution, we moved back down and
settled here in our village. I've lived in this house since then, but because of
my childhood experiences, I've never felt like I'm home. I've never been able to
put down roots and feel at home where I am. But I hope... I hope that your
church can give me a place to put down my roots deep. I think it could be here.
It could be like..." Me: "A family?" Him: "Yes, that's exactly it. Family."
That's the miracle of the gospel. It allows you to bloom where you're planted,
wherever you're planted. We can't always change our situation. But we can always
change ourselves and meet the expectations of our Maker. Oh, Dearest Brother
Jdoesn't know how high he can grow, what he can be, what adventures his
Father wants to take him on.
We had a hilarious encounter on the light rail train the other day that
just sums up the ridiculousness of being a foreigner missionary who speaks
Chinese in Hong Kong. A crazy-looking, extremely smelly man comes on the train
and as soon as he sees us, his eyes light up. He makes his way over and I mutter
something like, "Okay. Here we go again." He opens his mouth, which contained
approximately three teeth. His front tooth was SO long. Then, with a rather
insane smile, he spoke in relatively good English.
Old Man: Where are you from?
Sister Morgan: America.
OM: America... You should have stayed there. Obama is there.
SM: Yes.
OM: (looking at our name tags) I believe in God.
SM: Good.
OM: But I don't believe in Jesus.
Me: Well, we believe in God and Jesus.
OM: In Hong Kong, money is important.
Me: Mmmmm.
OM: YES, money is the most important. Then health is second.
At this point, a young, chubby boy in a school uniform looks at us and
says, determinedly,
Boy: Good. Afternoon.
SM: Good afternoon!
Boy: You come from where?
SM: America.
Boy: America... New York is in America. (As you can tell, Chinese people
like to show us that they're familiar with things from America.)
Me: Yes, that's right.
Old Man: MONEY IS IMPORTANT!
Boy: The buses are like buildings.
OM: (in a tone of disgust, mutters to himself) The buses are like
buildings... Money is important! It would be great if you could give me some
money!
Boy: The weather today is cold.
Me: Yes, it is. It is great. (I thought he said 'Good,' not 'Cold.')
Boy: No, it's cold. Because December is winter.
OM: (realizing that we're not even paying attention to him, turns to the
little boy) Money is important, little boy!
Boy: (squaring his shoulders in a determined, heroic manner) NO.
Me: How old are you?
Boy: Twelve.
OM: (as the train stops at the next station, and they're alighting) Money
is important!
Boy: Bye bye.
The entire train watched this exchange with mixed amusement, confusion, and
annoyance. Oh, need I even say why it is that I love and will miss the Hong Kong
people?
Quote of the week, from a recent district meeting: "Sometimes when I'm in
the shower, Elder F wants to put on his face cream, so he knocks on the door
and I get mad and think, 'This has nothing to do with his face, he just wants to
get on my nerves.'" Thanks, Elder P.
I attended my last mission leadership council on Wednesday, and at one
point in the meeting, President Hawks talked about his call as a mission
president. He said, "Elders and sisters, as your mission president, my primary
goal is for you to be changed. I want you to leave this mission a completely
different person from when you came. And I don't want you to ever be the same
again." As he said this, tears came into my eyes. It has happened. I'm not the
same as when I came. I'm far from where I want to be, but I'm where I need to
be, and I'm not going back. Heavenly Father is a miracle worker. I don't know
how he does it, but when we let him, he changes us.
Sunday night we had My Conversion Fireside, where every departing
missionary is allowed to invite a recent convert to share their testimonies, and
lots of investigators and members come to listen. I'd asked Sister H (from
Macau, she's working here in Hong Kong now!) to speak for me, but then her
employer wouldn't let her. I didn't know who else to invite, but when I walked
into the Mission Office on Wednesday, I saw Sister N, a recent convert from
Macau! She's moving to Russia, but she said she'd be here until Monday morning!
She was baptized before I got to Macau, but I worked with her a lot and I
absolutely love her. She spoke and shared the most beautiful testimony about
trials and the mercy of God. It sure was a tender mercy for me. I'd really
wanted someone from Macau to speak, because Macau has so many special memories
for me, and the Lord provided a way. I got to see Sister C (my companion when
I was in Kwun Tong) and S, one of the members that I worked with a lot in
Kwun Tong, and wow was it hard to say goodbye to Sister C. I will miss her so
much, she will always be a dear, dear friend to me. All in all, it was a perfect
evening. Just icing on the cake.
The last experience I want to share is one of the most humbling, special
experiences that I've had on my entire mission. A month or so ago, we visited a
family in the ward who hasn't been to church in a long time. We ate dinner with
them, and I loved them right from the start. I feel like I love each person that
we work with, but this family was different. I felt like the brother was my
brother, that the sister was my sister, and wow do I love their little children.
I wanted so much to help them, but I did nothing. We just shared a little
spiritual message and ate dinner and left. Didn't ask any questions, offer much
help. As we walked to the bus afterwards, I felt like an absolute failure, like
I'd just wasted our chance. I prayed so hard for weeks after, just asking God to
forgive me for being selfish and scared, and I did feel a lot more peace after
that. But Heavenly Father didn't stop there. He gave me another chance.
I prayed and fasted so hard before we visited the sister, just hoping that
God would tell us what to say. We spent a while planning, but it was so hard,
nothing was coming. In the end, we just decided to each think of some personal
experiences to share and some scriptures, and we each wrote down a couple. When
we got there, she was so nice and sweet. She's so worn down by taking care of
her children. Her husband works long hours, and she is just endlessly patient
with him and their children. But from the moment we sat down on the floor, I had
no idea what to say. I felt so stupid, everyone kept looking at me, and I just
could not speak to save my life. I felt like I was a brand new missionary, and
kept thinking, "Good grief Sister Cutler, what is wrong with you? Have you been
a missionary for 17 months or haven't you? And you don't know how to fix this?"
I just kept telling her that we loved her and her family. Then I opened up the
Book of Mormon, trying to find the scripture that I'd been thinking of, one that
I share all the time, and then all of a sudden, I couldn't remember if it was in
1 Nephi or 2 Nephi, and then I just opened up to a different one, 1 Nephi
21:14-16. We shared it, and then the Spirit just filled the room. I asked her
what they were struggling with, why they'd decided to stop coming to church, and
she explained it and was so grateful for our love and concern. She said that
those verses were a good reminder that they haven't been forgotten. It'll take
time for them to be able to start attending church again, but she is so happy to
have us come visit and share all the missionary lessons and help them. She felt
the Spirit, and she knew she was loved. It didn't matter that I was likely the
most ineloquent person in all of Hong Kong at that moment, because the Lord took
over. He sent the Spirit and taught all of us in that moment. I don't know how
he filled me with so much love for this family. I don't know how he touched her
heart the way he did. I don't know what the future holds for this family or for
Tuen Mun or for me, but I know it will be glorious. I know this because I know
God lives. And because he lives, the future is glorious. Things are better than
ever before, and things will be better eternally.
President Hawks said that some returned missionaries look back on their
missions longingly and say, "Those were the best two years of my life." He said,
"That makes me sad. The best two years should always be the last two years of
your life." I'm determined to be that way. This has been the best almost 18
months of my life, but the next 18 will be better. And I know that's true
because I know God lives and loves his children. I don't know the meaning of all
things, but this much I do know. And that is enough.
 |
| Good bye Hong Kong |
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